Mario: Through A Mirror, Darkly
by Mason Redd
Summary: Bowser and his allies stand poised to finally defeat the Mushroom Kingdom and end their reign of terror. But do the Toads have an ace in the hole?  Rated M for  mostly  realistic depiction of medieval warfare.
1. The Raid

_ Hi, all! This is my second fic here, though I've basically given up on the first. This is Mario as you've never seen him before. This is Mario, through a mirror, darkly. A dirty, broken mirror. With blood smeared on it. Mario written with the tone of a Diablo game. Mario if Nintendo ever lost their minds and decided to do a grim and gritty reboot of the franchise. This is what would happen if Shigeru Miyamoto got drunk, high, or both and collaborated with Ashtareth, the demon goddess of Canaan._

_ Anyways. Please read and review, and remember, the whole point of this thing is that it's a joke, made all the more hilarious because it's told with an entirely straight face. Yes, this is unholy blasphemy against everything that Mario is supposed to represent, a childhood raping mirror story of the Mushroom Kingdom. That's the point._

_ And in case it's not obvious by now, rated M for all kinds of nastiness._

_ Also, it should be noted that this is kicking the continuity all the way back to the initial kidnapping of Princess Peach Toadstool, so, basically, retelling the story of the original Super Mario Bros._

_ Also, also, for legal purposes I must point out that I am secretly Shigeru Miyamoto and that therefore I do, in fact, hold copyright to all the names mentioned in this fanfic, including Mario, Luigi, Peach, Bowser, Brooklyn, the twelve apostles, and Kung Fu. And while I'm at it, I have some stock in Enron I'd like to sell you._

Massive steel doors flung open and a Koopa Paratroopa sprinted in, breathless. "Lord Bowser!" he said, addressing the massive Koopa King, who stood over a table atop which was sprawled a map of the Mushroom Kingdom. Several flags on the map, each representing a battalion of the various factions now spread throughout the Mushroom Kingdom. In the Rebel Alliance, there were the united nations of the Koopa Kingdom, the Goomba Republic, the Underwater Kingdom, and the Piranha Plants, whose usually peaceful coexistence with one another and the world around them had, for aeons, rendered any kind of government unnecessary. They had no state of their own, but being independent from other members of the Alliance, they were led independently.

Clustered primarily around the capital of the Mushroom Kingdom, Mushroom Castle and the surrounding city, were a few flags representing the forces of the hated Toadstool Army. Staffed entirely with the so-called "master race," the Toads, the Toadstool Army was now finally on its last legs. Several dozen battalions still waited behind the Toadstool lines, slowly making their way to the battlefield according to Bowser's spies, but the now massive Alliance could force their surrender if they could capture the royal family.

Gathered around the table was not only Bowser, but generals from the various nations, even the Piranha Plants, whose strange, rustling language had to be translated by a linguistically talented Goomba. Special commanders of Bowser's special forces, the winged Paratroopas, the aptly named Spinies, the cloud-riding Lakitu, the elite Hammer Brothers, and the fireproofed Buzzy Beetles, rounded out the war council.

"What news?" Bowser asked. With luck, the Mushroom King had been captured in the field and they would not have to risk a costly assault on the Castle.

"It's the Mushroom King, Lord Bowser," the Koopa said.

"Have we captured him?" Bowser asked, allowing a glimmer of hope to break through the dark, cynical cloud that had fallen over his mind ever since the Mushroom Kingdom had subjected the Koopa Kingdom to their iron-fisted rule.

"No, sir, he's...He's died in the field of battle," the Koopa said.

Bowser closed his eyes solemnly. The current Mushroom King had taken over rulership of the Kingdom after the last one had been assassinated by Kamek, five years ago and ten years after the occupation of the Koopa Kingdom. Bowser had been enraged and terrified when he'd found out. He was king-in-exile, then, hiding from the Toadstool Army, and Kamek had been his regent, taking care of nearly all state affairs. Bowser refused to allow him to make a move against the Toadstool royalty, however, fearing that an assassination would only cause chaos and retribution. When Kamek assassinated the old Mushroom King without Bowser's permission, Bowser banished him from the exiled court.

Since then, the new Mushroom King had attempted to make peace with the rebels in the Koopa Kingdom, but also increased taxes in order to raise a more powerful army, fearing another assassination or even open rebellion. Seeing his people suffering even more, Bowser made a desperate gamble and struck at the Toadstool Army before it could grow even larger. And, amazingly, Bowser's gamble had paid off. Perhaps due to Bowser's military genius, perhaps because of the reluctance of the Toadstool Army to fight on foreign soil as Bowser liberated one conquered nation after another, or perhaps due to the hand of a sympathetic god, the Koopa Kingdom left the Toadstool Army in shambled and chased them into their own land.

Bowser knew that if he captured the current Mushroom King, he'd be able to make a deal. The Mushroom Kingdom's heartlands would not be invaded, not touched by the twin scourges of war and poverty that they had inflicted on so many others, and in exchange the Mushroom King would demilitarize his nation so that they would never be a threat to anyone ever again. The new Mushroom King had never wanted war in the first place, and would surely be quick to agree to Bowser's terms.

If he weren't dead, that is. Killed in battle, fighting boldly on the front lines. Truly, he was a worthy foe, thought Bowser, and perhaps the Koopa and Mushroom Kingdoms could have prospered together had he survived. "We must initiate Operation Valkyrie," Bowser said finally.

"Lord Bowser, I thought we agreed that was to be a last resort!" the Lakitu Commander said.

"My men will gladly take this risk if it means ending this war," the Paratroopa Commander said.

"We have little choice," Bowser said, "If we wait until after the battle outside the city is concluded, they will reinforce the Castle more heavily, which means a stealth operation will be out of the question. Our only chance is to act now, or else lose the opportunity forever and continue fighting this war for another year yet." There was silence for a few moments. "Send the orders," Bowser said to the Paratroopa Commander.

"Yes, Lord Bowser," he said, immediately running off to send the orders. Meanwhile, the rest of the council turned back to discussing the strategy of the main battle.

"Orders from HQ!" Simon the Paratroopa said, flying into the small, secluded camp where Koopa Air Patrol 12 was stationed, deep behind Toadstool lines. The other Paratroopas in Patrol 12 looked up from their various tasks, some of them cooking dinner, others fletching arrows or sharpening swords, a few just playing cards.

"Let me see them," Peter said, walking over to Simon and putting a hand out. Simon handed the orders off, and Peter scanned them carefully. "Operation Valkyrie is go," Peter said, "We leave at sunset."

"Called it!" Philip said to Matthias, "You owe me a coin."

"I'm cleaned out," Matthias said, "I'll pay you after the operation, how's that?"

"Ha," Philip said, "You'd better, we had a deal!"

"I give my word," Matthias said, "I'll pay you the day we complete the operation."

"You know he's telling the truth," Andrew said, "Matthias never lies."

"No kidding," Simon said, "It's like a disorder or something..."

"Quiet!" Peter said, "We're about to embark upon the most dangerous and most crucial operation of the entire war, an operation whose importance cannot be overstated. If we fail, thousands more will die in this war. If we succeed, those thousands will get to go home, and so will we. We all know the plan. Make yourselves ready, the sun will set in just a few hours."

Isaac was already bored, and his shift had just begun. He didn't like being assigned to the night watch on Mushroom Castle, but he didn't have much choice, the way the Toadstool Army was run these days. The Army was in its first state of emergency in centuries, and even the home guard were running under martial law. These were dark times.

As he trudged past one of the windows, he stole a look inside. A pair of Toad guards were talking to one another in the corner, and one of them was reading a book at one of the tables. Isaac sighed and kept walking. He'd be off duty in another few hours, then he could go home and relax. Be with his wife and newborn child some more. When they'd had the kid, the rebellion in the Koopa Province had just been distant rumors of war. They'd never imagined that the Mushroom Kingdom itself would be invaded. Now, in just a few weeks, the battle might reach the castle, and then it might be that his precious little girl would be without a father while just an infant.

Isaac didn't like thinking like that. Maybe the war would end before it could get that far. He knew both sides were sick of fighting. Maybe there was a chance for peace. According to Toadstool propaganda, Bowser was a war-mongering megalomaniac, but he'd heard the Koopa King could be reasonable enough. Maybe it was true, and if it was, maybe there'd be peace.

A moment later, an arrow shaft thudded into Isaac's neck, and he gurgled helplessly as blood filled up his throat. Shock set in first, followed immediately after by horror for the fate of his family, and then oblivion. A moment later, Matthias landed on the wall, crouching low to avoid detection from any of the nearby sentries. He glanced down at the Toad corpse at his feet, whose blood-flecked face still held open horrified eyes, empty of life. Matthias knelt down and closed the Toad's eyes, saying a quick prayer. Perhaps after today, the killing would finally end.

The other three members of the vanguard eliminated their Toads and touched down on the ramparts of the Castle, glancing around quickly to make sure no more guards approached. Safe, they signaled to the other eight Paratroopas of the Patrol, who quickly and quietly flew to meet them from their hiding place in the nearby hills.

The twelve of them regrouped on the roof, staying low. Peter stole a quick glance inside the window and saw the Toads inside. "Three of them in the window," he whispered to Matthias, who was next to him. Matthias whispered it to Philip, who whispered it to Bartholomew, and so on down the line until the message had been passed on.

They all knew what was coming now. There was only one way into the Castle from the roof. It was time to abandon the stealth part of the operation. Peter smashed through the window and dove through, drawing his sword and running the first Toad through as he rolled to his feet. The second's jugular was slashed open before he could even draw his sword, and by the time the third, the one reading the book in the corner, had armed himself, there were already three Koopas in the tower.

The Toad gripped his scimitar, took a deep breath, and held his ground. _Amazing,_ Peter thought to himself, _This Toad is willing to give his life against insurmountable odds just to defend this Castle...He really does think he'd doing the right thing._ The shouted out "For the King!" and attacked. Heavily outnumbered, he was cut to pieces in seconds, but his battlecry had drawn the attention of more Toads.

As the Koopas spilled into the hallway, Toads rushed to stop them from both sides, and a bloody melee began. "Matthias, take Beta Team down your corridor, I'll take this one!" Peter shouted, "We'll meet up again on the main keep!"

"Right!" Matthias shouted, lifting his sword up and charging down the hallway to do battle with the Toads. While Matthias and his crew struggled to break through, Peter found himself horribly outmatched. Spotting a nearby door, he forced the Toad back and flung the door open, standing beside it and fending off the Toads while the rest of his team ran in. After they were in, John, the best swordsman in the Patrol, joined him at the door.

The other four Paratroopas looked around the room and found it was a dead end, no way out, with nothing but a few tables scattered around. "Hang on," Bartholomew said, "I've got a plan."

Meanwhile, Matthias' team burst through the doors leading out to the balcony, cutting down the two surprised guards standing at the other side. They wasted no time, sprinting towards the balcony and jumping off and into the air, leaving the Toads behind. They barely had time to sigh in relief at having escaped the tower before Toad archers in the courtyard below and stationed on the roof of the main castle building began to fire on them. Immediately, they broke formation and began to dodge and weave around the arrows, pulling out their own bows to return fire.

Thaddeus was hit by an arrow in the wing, screaming in pain and panic as he spiraled down towards the ground, where he was immediately overwhelmed and dispatched by the Toad soldiers down below. The rest were forced to fly on without him. As they drew near the rooftop of the keep, the air became thick with arrows flying in both directions. Many of the Toads atop the Castle were dead or injured, but those who remained were now close enough to hit with much more lethal accuracy. James Alphaeus, the best of their flyers and well in front of the rest of them, was struck in the throat by an arrow and fell to the Castle roof, sliding off it and down into the moat below.

Matthias touched down on the castle rooftop a moment later, cutting down a Toad as he landed and running up to the next to do the same. This Toad dropped his bow and pulled out a scimitar to fight him, and several nearby Toads joined in. Before they could kill Matthias by sheer weight of numbers, however, Thomas, Simon, and Matthew landed and began fighting, splitting the Toads up between them.

While the battle raged on the rooftop, Peter and John continued to hold the door against the Toad onslaught. "One more time," Bartholomew said, holding one of the tables with the help of the other three Paratroopas, "It'll give on this one. Go!" The four of them rammed the table into the buckling wall opposite the door, and it gave way, spilling debris into the hallway just outside.

"Excellent!" Peter said, turning and running with John and the others out into the hallway, which was clear of Toads. They ran out onto the balcony, where there were still a few guards. "No time!" Peter shouted as the sound of pursuing Toads behind them grew louder, "Just fly!" The six of them sprinted past the Toads, flailing their swords wildly in an attempt to discourage the Toads from attacking. Bartholomew went down from a wound to his leg from a Toad who'd ducked under Bartholomew's sword, and was quickly surrounded by the Toads.

"Bartholomew!" Andrew shouted, turning to go back for him.

"No!" James Zebedee said, grabbing Andrew and dragging him away. A moment later, Bartholomew was cut to pieces. "Fly!" James shouted, and he and Andrew jumped off the balcony, flying out over the courtyard, where a few stray archers still fired at them from below. In the distance, they could see Matthias and the others finishing off the Toads on the roof and breaking through a window, climbing inside the Castle itself.

The corridors here were wide enough for two Koopas to lead the charge, and Thomas and Matthias led the way, cutting down the few Toads who had arrived to contain the assault. They rounded a corner and found a large door, opened it up and began running down before more Toad reinforcements could arrive. Red carpeted stairs stretched down before them, spiraling downwards, and they immediately began running down.

A few minutes later, Matthias halted them. "Check around the bend upstairs!" he said. Matthew nodded and ran around the bend.

A few minutes later he came back, shocked. "The door is still up there!" he said.

"Pull the other one," Simon said.

"Go check yourself, idiot," Matthew shot back.

"Quiet," Matthias said, "This is the endless stair. We'd been led to believe it was just a rumor by our spies, but clearly this isn't the case. We'll have to...Wait..." Matthias stopped talking and strained his ears.

"What is it?" Simon asked.

"Shh!" Matthias said. A few moments later, they all heard it, too. Voices, coming up the stairs.

"I want to go back to sleep, Toadsworth!" a high pitched voice demanded, "The war's supposed to be weeks away from here."

"It's called a night raid, Princess," an older, more frustrated voice said in return, "They're almost certainly here to kill you...Or worse! We must get you away immediately!"

"Isn't that why we have a castle full of guards?" the Princess asked. Toadsworth began to respond, but was cut off by the sudden ambush of Matthias and his squad, as they quickly dispatched the two Toads in lead, who were caught off guard, blood spilling from their slit jugulars as they slumped to the ground. The next two Toads, the only people between Matthias and the Princess, readied their scimitars and charged into battle, while Toadsworth grabbed the stunned Princess' thirteen year old body by the arm and began pulling her back down the stairs.

The four Toads in the rear stepped cautiously through the door to the first floor of the Castle, fearing another ambush, but the first floor remained dark and deserted, but for the Princess, Toadsworth, the four guards at the top, and two guards at the door, whose halberds were lowered, ready for a squad of Paratroopas to burst through the main doors at any moment.

"We'll have to smuggle you out through one of the warp pipes in the cellars," Toadsworth said to the speechless Princess as they and the four Toad guards walked down the main staircase leading to the main floor, "We'll hide you in Toad Town until the end of the raid, but we must hurry!"

Just as they reached the bottom of the stairs, the stained glass window depicting King Toadstool IV shattered and five Paratroopas flew in through the hole. James Zebedee, the first one in, staggered on landing, his wings shredded from the shattered glass. The four Toads moved to finish him before he could recover, but before they could reach him, Philip and John landed in front of him, fighting off the guards while Peter and Andrew touched down and immediately headed for the Princess.

Toadsworth threw himself in front of her. Peter, seeing he was completely unarmed, simply kicked him out of the way, sending him flying to the ground, dazed and confused. The Princess remained motionless, staring in awe and terror at the Toad-slaying monster that towered over her. Peter raised his sword high, and for a moment the Princess thought she might die, but then the pommel of the sword came crashing down on her head, knocking her unconscious. Peter caught her before she could hit the ground and flung her over his shoulder.

"Let's get out of here!" Peter shouted to the other four, who were engaged in vicious combat with Peach's elite Toad guards. John pulled a grappling hook from his belt and swung it up to the shattered window above while Andrew and Philip held back the guards. Peter passed the Princess on to Andrew, who climbed up the rope and flew out into the night sky. "James, tell Matthias and the others it's time to leave!" Peter said as James climbed up the rope. He nodded his acknowledgment just before disappearing over the top of the wall. "Your turn, Philip," Peter said. Philip turned to leave, but as he did so, an arrow struck him in the back of his head. He fell to the floor, limp.

Standing at the top of the staircase was Toad. _The_ Toad, Princess Peach Toadstool's personal adviser and bodyguard. The most powerful soldier in the entire Mushroom Kingdom, possibly the entire world. Peter grabbed the rope, ready to climb out, but a second arrow severed it. Peter tried the doors, and found them to be locked. He turned to face the four guards, readying his sword. "Finish him," Toad said. The four guards charged.

Peter's sword flew through the air, parrying the four scimitars aimed at his vitals. Recovering balance quickly, he sliced through one of the guard's stomachs, spilling his intestines onto the floor. The other three guards began to maneuver around him, trying to outflank him, so Peter feinted towards one of them, aiming another deadly blow at his stomach only to pull away at the last second and cut his jugular.

The other two guards attacked while Peter was still off-balance, so he stepped back out of the way, one of the swords clanging uselessly off of his durable red shell, leaving nothing but the faintest of scratches. The last two pressed the attack, and Peter ducked under their swords and cleaved through them both. He stood solemnly and turned to face Toad, who clapped slowly with a smirk on his face as his comrades writhed in dying agony on the ground. Peter stabbed his sword into their throats one by one, mercifully ending their suffering.

Toad strode down the stairs slowly, smiling and drawing his own scimitar. "Well, well, well," he said, "You must be Peter, the Red Death. I've heard about you and your squad. I must say I'm terribly pleased with myself to have ended one of them." Peter responded only with a steely glare.

Meanwhile, James Zebedee climbed through the shattered window on the upper stories, walking in on a massive fight between Matthias' squad and the Toadstool guards. "Matthias, we've got the Princess, it's time to leave!" James shouted.

"Behind you!" Matthias shouted back, but too late. Just as James turned around, his sword half-raised to defend himself, one of the Toad's scimitars cut his throat. Matthias charged the Toad and, batting his sword away, cleaved his head from his shoulders without pausing. As he neared the broken window, he jumped into the air and began to fly away, his squad not far behind.

Outside, Andrew and John were flying into the distance, the Toad archers down below not daring to shoot at him for fear of hitting their Princess. All he had to do was stop himself from being followed. The four remaining Paratroopas in Matthias' squad met up with Andrew in mid-air, the arrows of the Toads ceasing as they neared the Princess. As planned, they flew in a tight circle until the only way the Toads could tell them apart was that one of them was carrying the Princess. Suddenly, John, Matthias, and his squad each broke a small orb they'd pulled from inside their shell, given them by the Magikoopas before they'd left the main camp, many weeks ago. Suddenly, each of them had an illusionary Princess in their arms. The six of them split up, each leaving in different directions, the Toads panicking as they realized they'd be unable to follow six different flying targets.

Meanwhile, Peter and Toad were engaged in vicious battle with one another, their swords moving faster than the eye could keep up, each one relying on reflexes to keep them alive. Suddenly, the brilliant display of swordplay stopped, and they both took a step back to rest. Peter clutched at a small wound just inside his shell where Toad had wormed his sword in. It wasn't at all lethal, but it was sapping Peter's energy. Peter knew he wasn't going to win this fight.

Howling a war cry, he charged towards Toad and leaped into the air, swinging his sword wildly. Toad blocked the blow and then pushed Peter away so hard that it sent him flying into the air. This was just as Peter planned. He extended his wings to their full length and used the air Toad had given him to fly out the window, away from the Castle, to safety. The Toads in the courtyard, on the walls, and in Toad Town fired their arrows at him, but as he soared higher and higher into the night, he became more and more difficult to hit, until finally he was out of range completely.


	2. The Summoning

_Man. I just dug this thing up. This is, like, a year old now, isn't it? Guess it's time I continued it. Please leave a review if you read it. It's definitely the best way to encourage me to continue. Maybe the next update will only take half a year._

_ As a legal disclaimer, I would like to note that I own the copyright to Mario, Luigi, Toad, pentagrams (pending lawsuit against Id Software, the B-Horror genre, and all Wicca practitioners everywhere, ever), and fire._

Princess Peach Toadstool stirred slowly from her sleep, her head throbbing. She cracked her eyes open, and saw a few trees illuminated only by the flickering light of a nearby fire. She also felt something heavy clamped around her ankle. A quick, confused glance downwards revealed that her worst fears were confirmed. A chain manacle attached her leg to a nearby tree.

She also saw that she was lying in a camp with six red-shelled Koopa Paratroopas, but this barely registered as her memories of the battle at the castle came flooding back to her, the stone floors slippery with the blood of Koopas and Toads, one of her Toad guards screaming in agony as blood squirted out of the stump where his arm had been, and a moment later she was vomiting up on the ground.

"Hey, she's awake," one of the Koopas said.

Peach looked over in horror at the Koopa who had spoken. Over the past three years, the Koopas had become known as the most hated enemies of the Mushroom Kingdom, foul, ruthless savages who burned all in their path and feasted upon the remains of their enemies. They were the bogeymen her older brother had told her stories about.

For a moment, she felt hopeful. Her brother, the Mushroom King, would surely lead his armies to save her the moment he heard she'd been captured. He was probably on his way now. And after he'd finished saving her, he'd win the war against the Koopa Kingdom once and for all, and have Bowser and all his allies executed in the main square of Toad Town.

One of the Paratroopas got up and started walking towards her. She scrambling backwards on her hands and knees to get away, until the chain was pulled tight and she had nowhere else to go. The Paratroopa stopped a few feet away from her and knelt down, just looking at her.

"Boo," A voice from behind her said. Peach whipped around and saw another Paratroopa grinning at her from behind. She shrieked in fear and tried to back to the side, away from both the Koopas, but the one in front stepped on her chain, so that she couldn't move more than a foot or so away from him. Unarmed and helpless, she couldn't do anything except whisper "Please don't hurt me."

The Paratroopa reached down and grabbed her by the neck, stepping off her chain so he could lift her off her feet until they were at eye level with one another. Peach dangled from his hand, paralyzed with fear and her eyes beginning to tear up from sheer panic and trauma. Wordlessly, the Paratroopa threw her to the ground, then turned around and walked away. The second Paratroopa, the one that had been behind her, just grinned and started sharpening his hunting knife, staring at her. Peach stared back for a few minutes, defiantly, before the Paratroopa made a jabbing motion towards her with the knife. Peach screamed and jumped into the air a bit, and the Paratroopa chuckled before going back to his sharpening.

Several hours later, Peach was drifting into an uneasy sleep. As she slept, voices drifted into her half-conscious mind, mingling with her nightmares. "Don't you think you're laying it on a little thick, Matthew?" one of them said.

"We're supposed to be intimidating her," Matthew responded.

"We could do that just by _glaring_ at her. You're just traumatizing her," the first Koopa said.

"What do I owe her?" Matthew asked, "If it weren't for her, we wouldn't be in this war!"

"She's been the reigning monarch for thirty six hours," the other Koopa said, "It's not like she could've called off the whole war in that amount of time."

"Especially given she likely hasn't even gotten word of her brother's death yet," a third Koopa said.

"She's a Toadstool," Matthew said, "They're all responsible for this war. They all bled our families half to death so they could buy a gold-plated swimming pool for their eleventh magnificent palace."  
"If they had eleven palaces, we would've had 1.09 repeating Koopas to storm each one in search of the Princess," the third Koopa responded. "You may notice that we had a bit more than that figure."

"And you may notice that we came out of that Castle with five fewer Koopas than what we went into it with!" Matthew said.

The first Koopa began saying something, but then a fourth Koopa cut him off. "Quiet!" he said, "We all need sleep and one of the three of you isn't even on watch. So keep guard in silence or sleep."

On the outskirts of Toad Town, a pile of five Koopa Paratroopa corpses were burning as the dawn rose. Their wings turned to blackened bones and ash, their shells stripped to make armor for the Toadstool Army, and their flesh melted and charred. A putrid stench rose from the pile, the source of no small amount of discomfort for the Toads living just a few hundred feet from the pile, but none dared to raise complaint or protest against it, for though the Toad Chancellor and Toadsworth were technically next in line for the throne in Peach's absence, everyone knew that neither of them had the will to do the job. They were figureheads. Everyone knew where the real power lay, and that was in the hands of Toad.

Toad, meanwhile, was standing at the head of an emergency meeting of the Toad Retainers, in the Mushroom Castle's war room. A map of the country around Toad Town was sprawled out on the table. "As you know," Toad said, "The Princess Peach Toadstool was kidnapped several hours ago by Koopa rebels acting in the name of none other than King Bowser. No doubt, they will attempt to smuggle her out of the country and into the Koopa Kingdom immediately. We must intercept them and retrieve her before this happens, or else she may be lost to us forever. As Toad Retainers, it is our primary duty, oft overlooked, to keep the Princess safe."

All of the gathered Toads knew this wasn't true. In fact, some of them wondered why Toad didn't simply own up to the truth. He could easily dominate Peach into doing whatever he wanted. She wasn't at all like her brother, quiet but strong willed, or her father, stubborn as a bull. Toad wanted the Princess on the throne for two reasons. First, the Toad population would never rebel against a human ruler, even only a figurehead, because of the association between the vanishingly rare human race and Rosalina, the Celestial Mother. Second, Princess Peach would do whatever Toad wanted.

"We will each take a detachment of elite soldiers in the service of Her Majesty Peach Toadstool, and search the areas between Toad Town and the front lines. These will be soldiers trained specifically in the downing of Paratroopas. Are there any questions before I begin handing out assignments?" There was silence around the table. Everyone knew it was an assignment that was almost certain to get at least two or three of them captured or killed.

But one of them knew for certain that all seven of them would be seized, alive, leaving the Mushroom Kingdom in the hands of the weak willed Toad Chancellor and the militaristically inept Toadsworth. Then the Mushroom Kingdom would crumble, and the reward from the Koopa Kingdom would be great.

"Why do you smile?" Toad asked suddenly, "Surely you appreciate the gravity of the situation."

"I'm just glad," the betrayer said, "To be taking orders from you instead of Toadsworth or the Chancellor." Toad smiled and returned to the details of the briefing.

Princess Peach was awakened by the feeling of rough hands shoving a gag around her mouth. Her voice was muffled by the gag as she cried for help, the sound barely reaching twenty feet, and the countryside was deserted for miles. Her hands were forced behind her and tied together, and her feet tied as well. Then, one of the Paratroopas picked her up in his arms and, taking a running start, jumped up into the air, circling around to gain altitude while the other six jumped into the air as well, one by one.

They flew well away from Toad Town, heading deeper into Toadstool territory, before banking left to head back towards the frontlines, giving all settlements a wide berth. One of the Paratroopas carried Peach, with another wielding a bow in front and a third behind. The remaining four Paratroopas split into two teams of two, and scouted the territory around the main group to make sure they weren't surprised by Toadstool forces. The Paratroopas' night raid on Mushroom Castle may have been successful in the face of overwhelming odds, but that was in tight spaces with advantage of surprise. In a fair fight against any significant number of Toads, the Paratroopas would be quickly wiped out, so evasion was vital. Fortunately, the ability fly made evasion much easier.

Of course, the front lines, being lines, couldn't be avoided. Instead, at each line of troops, the Paratroopas would fly above cloud level, darting from one cloud to the next to try and stay out of sight as much as possible. At first, Peach tried to call for help to the Toadstool Army down below, but she quickly realized it was useless. The Paratroopas had gagged her for a reason. Besides, Peach was wearing only the nightdress she was kidnapped in, which meant she was soon shivering from cold when they flew high, and she was forced to concentrate on curling up as much as possible without slipping from the Paratroopas arms, to conserve heat.

Finally, a few hours after sunset, when Peach was drifting in and out of consciousness, waking form her sleep each time terrified that she might fall if she let herself drift off again, they arrived at Koopa lines. The Koopas flew high over the first line of Koopa forces, evidently considering them too close to the Toads on the other end of the battlefield to risk flying lower, but began their descent soon afterwords.

Around midnight, they touched down in the main army's camp, where units went to regroup and resupply before heading back to the forward attack bases on the front lines. Everyone in the camp began applauding as soon as they saw the Princess, who glared furiously back at them all. Her brother would show them all, soon enough.

In the distance, one of the Mushroom Kingdom's biggest castles loomed, meant to be the first and best line of defense should anything ever threaten Toad Town. Peach had heard that it had fallen just before her brother had left the Castle, telling her he'd take it back, beat the Koopas back to their own kingdom, and be back by the end of the year. He'd keep his promise, Peach was certain, even if he had to rescue her, as well.

The Paratroopa didn't put her down until he'd reached a small tent. It looked like the exact same kind of tent that the Goombas and Koopas slept in, just big enough to hold one of them, with enough space on the sides to stow their equipment. Since Peach was young and still fairly short, there was plenty of room to stretch after she was unceremoniously tossed in, but she curled up into a ball out of fear. No one bothered to untie her or remove her gag, and with her hands bound behind her back, she couldn't manage it herself.

Thinking that perhaps this had been an oversight, she eventually mustered up the courage to move over to the tent door. There, remembering that she must always do her best to act as regally as her station demanded, she stood up, wobbled uncertainly for a few moments as she struggled to keep her balance, and poked her head outside of the tent. One of the two Koopa guards posted outside immediately shoved her back in, without a word.

A while later, she simply started shouting unintelligibly through her gag, but after a few minutes of this, one of the guards stepped inside the tent and, jabbing his spear threateningly in her direction, said "Oi! Cut that out! Bowser said he wanted you alive, he never said he wanted you with all your fingers intact." Peach fell silent immediately.

* * *

Toad's scimitar carved effortlessly through a pair of Goombas. A split-second later, he'd already recovered balance and parried the sword aimed at his chest by a hapless Koopa Troopa. An instant later, Toad's scimitar slashed through the Koopa's throat. Another Koopa charged towards Toad and swung his sword, but Toad batted it effortlessly out of the way, jumped towards the Koopa and, planting one foot on the Koopa's chest for support, back flipped away, his sword darting out to split the Koopa's head in two as he landed.

The two remaining Koopas exchanged quick glances, and then began slowly edging away from Toad, who smirked and sprinted towards them, his feet barely touching the ground. The two Koopas raised their swords to defend themselves, but Toad leaped above them and decapitated both of them from behind just before landing. He was still for a moment while the two Koopas bodies went limp and collapsed, and then cleaned the blood from his sword.

Of his party of thirty elite Toads, only four remained, plus Toad himself. By Toad's rough estimate, forty Koopas and close to a hundred Goombas had been a part of the ambush. It was bothersome that Mushroom lines were now so porous that such large contigents could slip through. If every retainer had been ambushed by a force of similar size, then sneaking a force large enough to seize the capital behind the backs of the Mushroom Army wasn't inconceivable. Of course, if Bowser was wise, he'd sent a far greater force after Toad than after the others.

Toad smirked as he looked out at the aftermath. If Bowser hadn't sent a larger force after Toad, he'd probably be wishing he had very soon. And if he had sent a larger force, well, it still wasn't large enough. "Which of you is highest rank?" Toad asked the survivors.

"I am, sir, Sergeant Jason," one of the other Toads said.

"Alright, Sergeant Jason, take the others back to Mushroom Castle and escort the Chancellor to Devils' Hold. I'll meet you there," Toad said.

"We're not going to try and rescue the Princess?" Jason asked.

"No," Toad said, "If they found my location, they'll have found the other six retainers' as well. An ambush half this size could've seized them, particularly since one of them must've sold us out for the ambushes to happen at all. We don't have much chance of catching her by now, anyway. There's been more than enough time for the Koopas to get her back behind their lines."

"So...What now?" Sergeant Jason asked, "Is the war...It's not over, is it? We haven't lost?"

"Of course not!" Toad barked, causing Jason to flinch. "But they don't call it Devil's Hold for nothing. It's time to play my trump card."

* * *

"Lord Bowser," a Koopa messenger said, interrupting Bowser's thoughts in the now-empty war room.

"What is it?" Bowser asked.

"We've captured Princess Toadstool!" the messenger said, a wide grin on his face, "She's just outside the castle, they're ready to bring her to you at any time!"

"Good...Bring her immediately," Bowser said. He dared not be too hopeful. He knew almost nothing of this Princess, and if she would not negotiate a surrender, then the Mushroom people could go on fighting until the bitter end.

* * *

Toad tested a few of the stones at the end of the corridor deep below Devils' Hold until he found what he was looking for. A loose stone. Removing it caused the wall to slide open, revealing a secret stairway leading still deeper beneath the Earth. "Come," Toad said to the Chancellor, who was illuminated only by torch light, "The war will turn our way down below."

"What news from our man on the inside?" Bowser asked as his Magikoops spymaster entered the chamber. The princess was waiting just outside the war room, but Bowser didn't plan to meet with her until Peter had briefed him fully on her capture.

"Nothing yet," the spymaster said, "It'll likely be several more hours before we'll know if the retainers were captured, or whose side our man is really on." Bowser nodded without saying anything more. Nothing needed to be said. They both knew that the only real question was whether Toad had been captured or, failing that, killed. He was now the key to the entire war.

* * *

"Toad, do you really think there exists any weapon that can save us now?" the Chancellor asked as they stepped into a large room that somehow seemed sinister in its emptiness. "The rebels have us outnumbered many times over by now, and the battle for Toad Town will be lost by sunrise. It will be a matter of weeks, possibly _days_, before our remaining strongholds fall. What could possibly-"

"Silence," Toad said, "You have no idea the capabilities of this weapon. Just one is the match for entire armies."

The Chancellor was silent for a moment. "How...How many are there?" he asked, finally.

"Four," Toad said, "But there's no need to risk using all of them."

* * *

"Apologies for my tardiness, Lord Bowser," Peter said as he entered the room, still coated in dust and dirt from the front lines, "And for my appearance. The report to Commander Joseph took longer than expected."

"I understand," Bowser said, "Now before I meet with the Princess Toadstool to discuss our the surrender of the Mushroom Kingdom, I need your report on her treatment en route. Did everything go as planned?"

Peter hesitated a moment. "I believe some of the Koopas involved may have been a bit...Over-eager, Lord Bowser. If the goal was to make her fear an uncomfortable or undignified captivity, then I believe we've failed. Her captivity is already uncomfortable and undignified."

"Unfortunate," Bowser said, "But perhaps we can still end this war."

* * *

"If this weapon really can turn the tide," the Chancellor said, "Then why haven't you retrieved it earlier?"

"The weapon can be quite devastating to both sides if used improperly," Toad said, not looking up from the circle he was drawing on the floor. In the dim light, the Chancellor couldn't quite make out what color the circle was being drawn in, but it was dark, and the Chancellor couldn't avoid the unsettling feeling that it might dark red.

"Some kind of...Bomb, then?" Asked the Chancellor, "Or a disease?"

"No. Far more ancient than any weapon forged by Toads. Far more powerful than any disease," Toad said, beginning to draw lines through the circle. The Chancellor was fairly certain he knew what symbol Toad was drawing now.

* * *

"Princess Peach Toadstool," Bowser said, "I have summoned you to negotiate the surrender of the Mushroom Kingdom." She was a pitiable sight, and Bowser found himself struggling to maintain an intimidating tone. None of the nations in Bowser's alliance had any clothing for Humans, of course. They all had varying stories of the creation of the universe, the Goombas believed the world had been hatched from an egg from a cosmic Yoshi, the Underwater Kingdom believed the world to have been shaped from clay by a Blooper, and the Koopas believed the world had arisen from molten primordia by the will of the Great Koopa, but none believed in the Celestial Mother and the curious deification of mortal Humans practiced by the Mushroom Kingdom.

The upshot of all this being that none of them had anything to offer to Princess Peach to replace her nightdress, already growing dirty and ragged. Her feet were bandaged, likely as a result from having been forced to march across the plains without any shoes for her oddly shaped feet. The same dust that covered Peter clung to her as well, all but for where the tears had cut through them. When she had first entered, Bowser had whispered to Peter, asking if anything in particular had brought her to tears. Peter had responded by telling Bowser that he'd never seen her crying, so he had no idea.

If she'd been something reptilian, Bowser would probably have been unable to maintain his composure. As it was, he was able to keep his compassion in check. Compassion was only a good quality in peacetime leaders. Perhaps by tonight, the war would be over and he'd have a chance to her on behalf of his army for their mistreatment of her, just before leaving her in the Mushroom Castle and returning home.

Peach was apparently not planning on breaking the silence. "In return for your surrender," Bowser said, "We will return to you much of your original territory and release all prisoners of war. In exchange, your nation will demilitarize under the direction of representatives of the Goomba Senate, the Underwater King, and myself. This is to ensure you do not resume aggression against your seceded vassals." There was another minute of silence. "Well?" Bowser asked finally.

"I refuse, of course," Peach said.

* * *

The symbol was complete. A pentagram lay on the floor, writ in blood. At each point, there lay a symbol, but the Chancellor could recognize only the one at the top, the symbol of Rosaline. "Toad, why would you profane the symbol of the Celestial Mother by attaching it to a pentagram?" the Chancellor demanded.

"You know nothing of the Mother," Toad said, "She is both divine and profane, both celestial and infernal, a coin with two sides and more, a paradox beyond your comprehension."

"What? Toad, what are you talking about? What is this...This perversion of Rosaline you've created?"

"Created?" Toad asked, and laughed. "You think I _created_ all of this? This is the _true_ nature of Rosaline. It was weak-hearted fools like _you_ who created the modern image of Rosaline, that flat, one-dimensional disgrace to her unfathomable nature!"

"Is that what this is all about, Toad?" the Chancellor asked, "Has all of your scheming these years past been building up to a ressurection of this...This _cult_ ?"

"Chancellor," Toad said, his tone somehow mocking and humble at the same time, "I have only ever been a servant of the descendants of the Paradoxical Mother and their great Mushroom Kingdom. Far be it from me to dictate to the great Toadstool monarchs what religion they shall dictate to their followers. If the Toadstool line wishes to propagate the myth of the Celestial Mother, I shall not stop them."

* * *

"Your armies are broken, princess," Bowser said, "My forces have already defeated yours outside Toad Town and are occupying the Mushroom Castle as we speak. If you continue this war, you will only see the destruction of your remnant forces, and your kingdom put to the torch!"

"You're lying!" Peach said, "My brother will have you beaten by winter, and if you're wise _you'll_ surrender to _him. _Maybe if you return me to the castle right now, he won't have you executed for treason."

Bowser sighed. "Your brother is dead," he said, "He was a worthy adversary, but he is not the ruling monarch of the Mushroom Kingdom any longer. You are."

"That isn't true! You're lying!" Peach said again.

"Do I have to bring you his corpse?" Bowser asked, "I assure you it is not a pleasant sight. War wounds rarely are." Peach was silent. "Your brother is not coming for you," Bowser said.

"Toad will come," Peach said, her voice cracking, "And he'll be even worse. For you."

"Not even you believe he is coming for you," Bowser said. "Not without the backing of an army, and the Mushroom Kingdom no longer has an army."

"This is all your fault!" Peach said, "This is why descendants of the Celestial Mother are supposed to be on the throne instead of reptiles like you! I'll _never_ surrender the Mushroom Kingdom to you!"

* * *

"Toad...What is the purpose of all this?" the Chancellor pleaded. "What are you doing, really? What do you want?"

"Oh, that's simple," Toad said, stepping onto one of the symbols written at the end of the pentagram's points. "You and Toadsworth always chase after divine mandates and ancient prophecies." Toad pulled out a ritual dagger and cut his wrist, letting the blood slide down his fingers and drip onto the symbol below him.

* * *

"If you do not surrender your kingdom, it will be burned to the ground by the fires of war!" Bowser roared. His sympathy for the princess was beginning to slip as he thought of his own burned kingdom. How the great fires of his homeland had raged out of control for the first time in over a century.

"If I _do_ surrender my kingdom, you will burn it anyway!" Peach shouted back, "At least this way we can take a few more of you down with us! At least this way, the honor of the Toadstool line won't die with me!" Her voice cracked again on the last word. She was choking back tears, doing her best to look defiant, but all three of the Koopas watching could see the terror hiding just below.

* * *

"The past two kings have gone on about stability and prosperity and unrest in the vassal states." Somehow, the blood dripping from Toad's fingers fell perfectly within the blood already written on the ground, the symbol preserved, perfect, precise.

* * *

"Princess, do you want a warm bed to sleep in tonight? And some good food to eat?" Bowser asked. If she was going to act as a child, and an indoctrinated child at that, he could work with that. "If you do not surrender your kingdom, you will live out the rest of your short life in a cell, eating gruel and drinking water, until the day the last remnant of your kingdom falls, and then you will be executed for the unforgivable crime of prolonging this war, to the cost of thousands of lives! On _both_ sides!"

Peach opened her mouth to speak, and hesitated. She moved her mouth wordlessly, searching for the words, and then gave up. Sighing, Bowser slid the surrender terms towards her, along with the royal seal of the Toadstool line, recovered from the corpse of her brother. A small pot of melted wax above a candle had been fitted to the seal by the Koopas. "Mark this with your seal, Princess, and you can go home to your palace and your kingdom."

Numbly, Peach poured a bit of the melted wax onto the document, then reached for the seal and picked it up. The seal was made of white jade, which had been chipped in three places some time ago when one of the Mushroom Queens of centuries past had used it to ward off a traitorous retainer's thugs. Where it had been chipped, it had been repaired with gold. Peach ran her fingers across the seal, feeling the subtle change in temperature and texture as her fingers brushed past jade, then gold, and then jade again.

* * *

"But me? I don't have any duty delivered to me from ten thousand years past, or ambitions of prosperity that will continue ten thousand years hence." The symbold wasn't glowing, as the Chancellor had expected it to be. But he could _feel_ the power building up in the symbol, spreading through the whole of the pentagram. Slowly inching towards Rosaline's symbol. The thought of what would happen once it arrived filled him with dread.

* * *

Only the reigning monarch of the Mushroom Kingdom was supposed to touch this, but after their father's death, her brother had let her hold it. It had always struck her as being very beautiful, and she'd asked her father if she could have one like it made for her. He'd given her an angry look and told her never to ask again. When her brother had let her hold it, the day of their father's funeral, he'd told her why it was so important that there be only one seal. It was a symbol of Rosaline's divine mandate, he'd said. Hanging around the monarchs neck as a constant reminder of his duty to the Celestial Mother. A duty that their father had died for. A duty her brother had died for.

"No," Peach said, setting the seal down and blinking back tears. She refused to cry in front of her enemies. "No, I won't betray my family's honor, and I won't betray the mandate of the Celestial Mother! I was born a Toadstool, and I will _die_ a Toadstool!"

* * *

"All I want is absolute control over the entire world until the day I die. Not so much to ask compared to your millenial dreams, is it, Chancellor?" Toad smiled wide, the twisted power having nearly reached Rosaline's symbol. The Chancellor searched desperately for something to say, some way to convince Toad of his own madness and to turn him back, but there were no words for it. There were never words to argue with Toad.

"Fine, then! After your kingdom has burned, you can take your bigotry with you to your grave!" Bowser shouted before ordering his guards to take her away to the fortress' dungeons.

"Don't touch me!" Peach shouted as one of the guards grabbed her arm, trying unsuccessfully to pull away. The other arm grabbed her by the opposite arm and the two of them began to drag her away. She struggled against them as they dragged her out of the war room, ignoring her protests. "Rosaline," she shouted desperately to the heavens, "If there was ever a time we needed you, it is now! Please, send me a savior!"

* * *

Fire shot up from the pentagram, a huge pillar that stretched to the ceiling. It was a deep, unnatural shade of red, and yet also too bright to look at. Toad leaped back, his skin red and blistered from the intense heat. The Chancellor backed away as well, his own skin slowly reddening from the heat even from this great distance. Somehow, he _knew_, knew that from some dark corner of the universe, a demon was coming, the lord of fire and blood.

Suddenly, the fire ceased, leaving only flaming trails along the lines of the pentagram and the symbols that surrounded it. Kneeling in the center was a Human man dressed in red armor of an otherworldly glint. It was almost like the armor of rigid metal plates worn by Human warriors of the Toadstool and Sarasa bloodlines, except for the strange material it was forged from, and the joints. The armor the Chancellor was familiar with used a mesh of metal links beneath the rigid plates, in order to protect the joints the plates could not cover. If there was chainmail beneath the plates on this demon's armor, the Chancellor couldn't see it. The joints were covered by an intricate series of thin, inter-locking plates, like the coils of a snake.

"What...What in the name of the Celestial Mother _is_ that?" the Chancellor stammered.

The demon raised its head, his features obscured by the lowered visor of the helm he wore, a narrow gap between the plate covering his face and the helm covering the rest of his head served as the only way to look out...Or in. In the darkness of the underground chamber, the Chancellor could only make out a pair of fiery, smoldering eyes. He wasn't sure what was under that armor, but though it walked like a Human, he was certain it must be more horrible than the Great Koopa itself.

The demon spoke, his voice low and savage. "It's-a me. Mario."


End file.
